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I just realized that I move in a week, and so I started packing, then that seemed like too much work for an unemployed person to be doing, so I thought "hey! I haven't blogged in a while."
So, last Friday was Sara's party which I actually stayed past midnight at (I usually turn into a pumpkin) Saturday I wrote my paper on Western Sahara. Saturday night I went to a super swanky Ball at the Swedish Embassy. I'd never been to a gen-you-wine BALL before. It was black tie, but for some reason I wore a sweater vest (I'm going to be LIVING with this person) I actually danced for the first time in a long time. That building is pretty nice, and for this St. Lucia day they send out all these Swedish chicks with candles .... ON THEIR HEADS! Mindblowing eh? Anyhow Sara got us in for free with all her swanky style contacts so that was neat.
Sunday I built a bookcase to match the one I already built, only I managed to screw it up. It is exactly one inch taller than the other one. Oh well, no one will notice. Then I wrote my paper on Armenian Terrorism. My undergrad stuff is finally seriously DONE.
Monday I wasted the day. I don't even remember what I did exactly, oh wait, yes I do. I signed the lease for the new place, bought a mattress, and scheduled the FIOS people to have everything hooked up before I move in. Then I sanded the bookcase that I built on Sunday.
Yesterday I went up to New Jersey to take care of some business. I had to drive back home through the snow. Today got some shit notarized. Bureaucracy has been kicking my ass lately. I'd explain it all to you, but you know how it goes. All this shit happens that's not your fault in any way remotely and you end up on the phone for three hours trying to get shit straightened out. Then it's not straightened out and it un-straightens some other shit and you end on the phone for three hours the next day thinking, "These fuckers should be paying my phone bill!"
Lastly, as interesting as the Madoff story is, I am already sick of hearing the phrase "Ponzi Scheme" Yes media, we know you like your new phrase.
Also, you are my friends and all and I love you, but please do not send me any more "elf yourself" movies. They are not cool. They are creepy! I never really seem to like anything jibjab does ever, maybe it's because they aren't funny. What do you think?
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Being unemployed sure is HARD WORK. Today I tried out mattresses at Macy's then I ate a burrito and a BEER. AT NOON.
This is the BEST!
I noticed as I walked through the mall, that santa's photography assistants really aren't dressed humiliatingly enough anymore. At Ballston they don't even have to wear a stupid Santa hat. Just a plain red vest. What is this country coming to?
So the positive side of Monday was, because I got laid off I got to watch the Spurs game. I knew they would win for me, and they did. Then for the super positive side, I got like four vaccinations that night. One was one of those shots they have to give you in your muscles. It hurt, so I've been concentrating on recovering the last couple days. I finished writing my paper on WAR RAPE, so that was uplifiting. All my school crap will be done ome Sunday, and then I will have like nothing to do for a month!
This is going to rule.
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The mystery of my company's layoffs was solved today.
So they laid off my boss and then every individual member of my team (I was the second to last to go) They're giving me four weeks severance, plus they held one paycheck back at the start, so from what I figure, I've got about four more paychecks which pretty much gets me to the end of January. I've also got my security deposit from this place coming to me (hopefully), so I should be ok for a while. Considering I was going to start interviewing for teaching jobs then, I guess this is actually not too big a deal. I really did hate that job, it will just be rough having to be responsible with my money. No more lighting my cigars with hundred dollar bills. :-(
The good news is that this will leave much more time for stuff like blogging and laying around my apartment (the important things in life)
I took three exams over the course of nine hours on Saturday.
How was your weekend?
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I pretty much always come up with some way to spend a lot of money on christmas presents, but it looks like this year things are just conspiring against me. Apart from the mystery layoffs at my company which have yet to be announced, there's the whole moving thing which also means I have to buy a new mattress. Sara only has a "full" size, and then there's my Queen mattress that I bought with my ex-wife in 1998 and you know, four girlfriends since then and she gets all creeped out about making it her bed. DAMES. Then my car fails inspection this morning. Apparently I need a new motor mount, brakes, suspension, and tires. I also need to buy the materials for the new bookcase which it is vital that I build before moving day (December 24th) This is on top the last payment of $900 made for my undergraduate studies which will be debited promptly on the 15th.
At least the last $205 I blew was well spent. I gave it to High-Tech Audio aka Sound Images in Falls Church Va, to save my 1978 Sansui- G6000 Receiver. Was it worth it? Well, I'm listening to Sususudio by Phil Collins RIGHT NOW.
Jealous?
No Jacket Required.
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It's been years since I've witnessed FBOW attempt a punchline. Now I see why.
Who reads that ANYTHING is award winning and then says "I wonder why?"
That diet combined with that baby can only be good for future diaper changing hilarity related comics.
I can relate to this figure skater, and not just because of our natural talent and graceful ways, but because I feel the same way she is thinking everytime I start reading another Mary Worth Comic.
"OH!" She's drunk, or high, or she's been talking to Mary Worth. It matters little which, they all lead to early graves and crippling depression. (Usually in the opposite order)
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When a woman starts off a conversation with "I just wanted you to know the truth..." you'd expect something to follow about how she's been cheating on you or something, or how she was once a man, or how we can never be together. If you're Mark Trail however, it's "You've taught me the importance of wetlands."
And ALL of Mark Trails' lady friends end these little talks with the customary "Thanks again for saving me from the Alligator" (unless they are in the mountains, in which case it's "Thanks again for saving me from that mountain-gator")
Ripley's has run out of interesting events and facts, and is now just offering definitions of random words.
Wow! The next thing they'll tell me is that a millionaire has a million dollars!
Come on guys, where's the human interest? NAME and CITY please.
Also, pick a hotter woman and stable next time.
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| 2008-11-20 15:25 |
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Oh boy, here we go....
Gmail chat started like this (out of nowhere);
Sara: french blue?
do you like french blue?
it's a nice blue.
for a bathroom
Me: ?
what are you talking about woman?!
Sara: our bathroom of course
the room we will both share
me: You want to paint it?
Sara: ahh
no
my mom wants to know what color towels we want
that's all
Me: but
Sara: I'm thinking french blue
Me: but
we have towels...
Sara: yah
Me: plenty of towels
Sara: well, we could do with new ones
and we don't really have hand towels
(Exciting updates to follow in days to come)
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My desktop computer died yesterday. We had some good times together, but her time had long since passed.
I can't decide whether I should replace it or not. I could just get a nice monitor and external harddrive to plug my laptop into. The only reason I can think for having a desktop is for torrent related stuff, and I haven't done much of that lately. What do you, the viewers at home think? I'm leaning towards just getting whatver today's bottom of the line number from Best Buy is.
How many of you still have desktops?
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I hated these phrases before I started working here, but they get used SO OFTEN by people trying to BS their way through the workday. They are like nails on the chalkboard. I would suggest that in the coming round of national layoffs (not just in my company, but at employers nationwide) that the following people be targetted first.
Anyone who talks about letting an idea "percolate" - ARGHH!!
People who talk about "massaging data" - ARGHHH!! + CREEPY!!
People who refer to creating a report as "slicing and dicing" data - NO!
People who constantly refer to the "granular level" of anything. - the word you are looking for is "smallest"
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All my friends who have Nintendo Wiis, are any of you planning on buying "Animal Crossing:City Folk" with the wiispeak bundle? If just one of you takes the dive, I will jump in with you ....
I've got someone interested in renting my old apartment the week after christmas. He's a 19 year old international student named "Dang" He specifically asked if there was a "cooking area" Should I be worried that he'll be operating a meth lab?
So now that I'm in the program, I just have to prove I've been living in Virginia for a year with the intent to establish permanent residency, as my initial classification is "Out of State". Hopefully the Blue Ribbon will take care of any questions there. If not there's the volunteer stuff, and the election officer stuff, and the fact that I'm enrolling in a program whose specific aim is to get you certified to teach in Virginia. There's no way they could mess this one up, right? .... RIGHT?
Hey, I just found out that Thanksgiving is next week! I haven't been running in forever, but I guess I should do the Turkey Trot in D.C. for a third year in a row, which would officially make it a tradition.
How was your weekend?
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We just got a letter ..... Wonder who it's from.
It's from the discerning graduate school people at George Mason's VERY selective Career Switcher program.
I'm in like a dirty shirt.
This is a HUGE load off my mind, suddenly I feel way more relaxed than I have in a long LONG time.
Also I spun out for the first time in my life today. It was on the exit ramp to the Capital Center mall. I thought was gonna die, and yet here I am, alive and writing to tell the harrowing tale.
Can this good fortune continue into Tottenham's performance against the cottagers tomorrow AM. Tune in later to find out!
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More ESL shenanigans. I spent like fifteen minutes in class yesterday explaining the difference between who and whom and when you should use each. This culminated in a game entitled "Whom should you call?" and an exercise where you call a deaf florist to order flowers for mothers day. "Who is this?" "For Whom are the flowers?" and so on. My guess is, the first time they try to actually use this knowledge, a native speaker is going to tell them that it sounds funny, and that will probably be true. So, would you teach people how to speak correctly or how to speak commonly?
Did I mention before my vacation that someone at work is convinced that I am on drugs? I wouldn't mind this so much if I wasn't the most boring person in world in such regards. Seriously, I've never tried anything even mildly illegal in my lifetime. So because of this one anonymous person (actually, I'm pretty sure its this sixty year old Scottish woman) I have to sit down with someone from HR once a week and tell them "How I'm doing" you know, like whether I scored over the weekend and how my detox is going, that kind of stuff. The thing in no one agrees with the sixty year old woman, but they have to do the meeting anyway so I end up telling them about my week, which ends up being like an in person blog entry, today I told them about "Who vs. Whom" and my dilemma.
Spurs won AGAIN!
Whatcha' doing this weekend gang?
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Melios sent me the youtube video for picture pages yesterday and I realized that the cartoon Bill Cosby looks absolutely nothing like the real Bill Cosby:
He looks more like a black Jay Leno. Or a Jewish Obama. Or like he's hiding a giant dildo in his mouth. In my work inbox today: "Dear All, This is to inform that India center is closed tomorrow on the occasion of "Guru Nanak Jayanti". Guru Nanak Jayanti is celebrated on the occasion of Guru Nanak Dev birthday, the founder of Sikh faith. Regards, Shaleen"
Yeah, right. Nice try "Shaleen". No one is going to fall for such an OBVIOUSLY fabricated holiday.
Speaking of work, they announced a few weeks ago that they were going to lay off a crapload of people, but that they don't know whom, and that it will be "sometime around Thanksgiving". What possible good could come from such an announcement? I apparently work for a bunch of stupid turds. Do you think I could rent out my apartment for this Inauguration hoopla? Sara and her roommates are planning on renting out their house on capitol hill for some insane amount of money... Here's hoping Spurs continue their magic meteoric phoenix-like rising from the ashes and actually manage to beat Liverpool a second time today. Here's a compilation of their recent resurgence complete with fruity music, which I encourage you to turn down. (my favorite part is the little kid at exactly 2 minutes. Good for him for staying to the end even when everything looked lost): Have a cool day cool people. Happy birthday to Vicky. feel better to Jenny, congrats to Megan on getting a house.
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I drop the ball for not even two months and I come back to find that she's been multiplying like mice in an abandoned barbeque next to a bag of dry dog food. You open it up after a long winter and find a billion of the disgusting vermin teeming within. You then quickly close it again and decide that Fuddrucker's wasn't such a bad deal after all, and maybe you might not want to have a cookout this summer.
On the bright side, the Cathy on the right doesn't seem to say anything but "WHAT?!" Here's hoping we will be following her "adventures" in the weeks to come, so that we can be spared Left-Cathy's ridiculous fingering and declaratory statements about chocolate.
Rex Morgan used to be Rex Morgan M.D. and I think I know why. Everyone he meets seems to get horribly injured. I'm not sure exactly what injuries this unfortunate person sustained, but Rex seems to have taken the "Put gaint bandage on everything" approach to healing.
Woah-HO there old timer! Talk to the hand cause the Rex aint listening! No one, not even Mr. Morgan, wants to hear about your disgusting wrinkly-old-person-sex-party plans.
More mesozoic sparrows preparing to lay their giant eggs on an unsuspecting Mark, who always seems to be drinking coffee when he finds out about this month's conspiracy against nature.
Can I hope against hope that this Rabbit fellow is actually a giant, evil, talking rabbit who pit-fights dogs against chained raccoons? Or maybe he's just imagined, like in that movie Harvey? (That would at least be kind of cool) The lame-ass CSI-style quip by Mark at the end tells me differently though. Too bad, it looks like this story has 2-1 odds of more awful betting metaphors.
Do I still have "it" ? I guess it doesn't matter. Older weeks are here.
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Oh look, I forgot to post for a few days. Well, I'm back now.
Some things have happened since then. Here they will be in no particular order.
I bought a suit, for the second time in my life. This one was from the Men's Warehouse (whatever) at the capital center mall. The suit cost one hundred dollars, but ended up costing me $300. This is why I need to learn to sew, and why it's going on next year's list.
I had my interview for grad school. I don't want to jynx anything, but I think I did pretty well. I did not get to work in the blue ribbon apple pie, which was disappointing. They said I will know around Thanksgiving. Here's hoping I have something to be thankful for.
I worked as an election officer in Arlington county. 5am to 9:30pm. It was draining, but worth it I guess. Afterwards I went to Mom's pizza in Arlington where just by chance a bunch of other election officers from different precincts were watching. I was in dropping off a friend in Dupont circle when they called it, so I got to see all the miscreants running around high fiving each other. I kept honking my horn at them, they thought I was celebrating with them, but I was really trying to admonish them, or tell them to get out of the street.
Spurs had all these amazing, AMAZING games ..... they seem to be back, resurgent, where for like over a month they looked like they were dead and gone, never to be heard from again. This reminds of something else that I can't quite put my finger on. Anyhow, they were down by two goals in the 89th minute of their game against Arsenal and they actually came back and scored two goals in stoppage time, harrowing stuff. I yelled loud enough that my neighbors came to check on me.
Just about one in every two women I know decided it would be THE most clever thing in the world to dress as Sarah Palin for Halloween (HURRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!) All of them are convinced that they, uniquely, look just like Sarah Palin. (I'm not h8'in I'm just sayin')
I'm going to move in to the slightly nicer apartment complex across the street. They have an internet cafe, a balcony I can see the monuments from, a washer and dryer in "the unit" and most importantly they allow dogs. Sara and I are going to try living together for a year. I'm already worried. She's going to be leaving all her woman stuff lying around everywhere (Bras, tampons, and so on)
Some old fart stole my number at the army ten miler! If you go to the website my time is up there, but when you check the pictures they are of this guy that looks nothing like me, this old guy wearing these tiny american flag running shorts. (I'm actually not kidding, the whole affair was very disconcerting, I had to run with a purple number!)
I met my favorite basketball player ever, completely by chance, at a party. Gheorghe Muresan just walked into a little party I was at in Rockville. He was friends with the host, but I was pretty much the only other person there who knew who he was. I introduced myself, and we sat on the couch together eating carrots.
So, did I miss anything earth shattering or really clever from you guys on Livejournal? How was your month and a half or so?
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Look who's gone color!
Why didn't they just change the driver instead?
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